Frequently Asked Questions
I notice some signs that my child or youth is exploring their gender or sexuality. Why haven’t they said anything to me?
Answer: Some children can be aware of their gender and/or sexuality from a young age but may not have the words to talk about it or to describe it. In other cases, your child or youth’s experiences may be evolving, and they may not be ready to share this information with anyone just yet, and that’s completely okay. It’s also possible that they are aware of risks you haven’t considered or are unsure of what your response might be. Families are often not the first ones to know because the risk of losing your family is so great. It’s important to encourage them to seek out spaces where they feel safe and accepted and speak positively about 2SLGBTQIA+ people or current events to show you are supportive.
When people mention two pronouns such as he/they, does that mean that both pronouns can be used? Is it implied that the first pronoun listed is preferred?
Answer: Ask the person if they are comfortable talking to you about it! Pronouns are personal and may be different for everyone. It may be situation-dependent or change depending on who the person is with. Sometimes the person may prefer both pronouns equally; in other situations, the dominant pronoun may be capitalized.
Is it okay to use they/them pronouns as an ally?
Answer: Be authentic to yourself and what pronouns you feel best reflect your identity. If it feels right to use they/them pronouns, then you should! It all depends on the intent you bring when using pronouns. Be honest about what feels right to you.
What would you suggest to help encourage others who don’t understand the importance of using a person’s chosen pronouns, especially for those who are cisgender and heterosexual?
Answer: Education is key. A person’s beliefs or understanding may be coming from a place of confusion or lack of knowledge. Give the person a chance to be educated and make more informed choices. If the person chooses to continue not being accepting, it can be tricky to navigate. It is important to keep in mind the queer person’s emotional safety with that person. Practicing self-affirmations and seeking out support from caring loved ones can be helpful.
Whose choice is it to accept risks for transgender youth wishing to transition?
Answer: While you may be worried, it is your child’s body and their life. Remember that trans children and trans youth ultimately grow up to be trans adults. Being unsupportive of your youth’s desire to transition may only delay the process. You can be supportive by helping your child/youth access safe transitional supplies and education. If you are worried, talk to your child or youth. Navigating the school system may be a challenge for transgender students. Get their permission to be an advocate or resource navigator as they go through their transition in and outside of school.