Understanding how the sibling(s) of a child or youth with mental health challenges might be feeling
Growing up with a sibling who has mental health challenges can impact a child or youth in unique ways. Their experiences might be somewhat like yours, but they may have a harder time understanding and managing their emotions. There’s a lot to navigate, as they experience a range of responses and emotions.
What the sibling(s) might feel:
- Stress. Your child(ren) may worry about both their sibling, as well as you as their parent or caregiver. They may feel a lot of pressure to keep things calm and peaceful in the home, which can sometimes be out of their control…which, in turn, can make them feel even more stressed.
- Distress and worry. The challenges that can arise when a sibling has a mental health challenge can sometimes make your child(ren) feel distressed, worried and alone, which can sometimes give rise to their own mental health struggles.
- Resentment. Your child(ren) might feel some resentment that their sibling is experiencing these challenges, and that services and support aren’t always easy to find.
- Guilt. Guilt and shame are common experiences in siblings of child(ren) with mental health challenges. They may be embarrassed about things that are happening at home, and might also feel guilty that their sibling is struggling.
- Afraid. Verbal and physical aggression can occasionally arise when a child or youth is struggling, and lead to trauma for siblings and other family members. Siblings might not understand why this is happening, may feel helpless to control the situation, and may also feel responsible in some way. Navigating the mental health system can also be traumatizing at times, which can make things even more difficult as a parent or caregiver. Learn more about how to manage verbal and physical aggression.
- Overwhelmed. Clearly, there’s a lot going on for the sibling(s) when one child or youth is experiencing mental health challenges, and so it’s not surprising that they can feel overwhelmed. They might feel like they need to ease the burden on parents or caregivers, keep their own problems under wraps so as not to add more to an already difficult situation, and generally take on more responsibility to ease the burden on parents or caregivers. It’s a lot for any child to manage, so feeling overwhelmed is pretty common.
“When you are having dinner and suddenly something happens, it can be scary. Fearing when the next crisis might happen, not knowing day to day what things at home will be like is really hard.”