Transition to High School
It’s a big deal to start high school! It’s an important milestone, and while some youth may be excited for the change, it’s not uncommon to feel nervous or have lots of questions. It’s also important to recognize that there will be a shift in the level of contact you will have regularly with the school, as the focus becomes supporting independence in high school. So, we’ve gathered tips and ideas from parents, caregivers, and child and youth mental health experts to ease the transition:
Acknowledge that this is a significant change
There will be many changes when transitioning from elementary school to high school, including more students, new peers, more complex schedules, and academic pressures. It’s a good time to express confidence in your youth’s ability to handle these challenges.
Remind them that they’ve been through hard things before, and they managed to make it through, and that they don’t have to handle this on their own. It can take time to adjust to the new school setting fully.
Ask questions and get to know the new school
With so many changes and a bigger school with more students, your youth is likely to have many questions about their new school, such as who the teachers are. What courses will they take? They may even be worrying about getting lost in their new school because it’s so much bigger.
Information is power. The more your youth understands about what to expect during the upcoming year, the more confident they will feel about heading to high school. Take time to talk with them about questions they may have and what they are excited about. If it helps, write the questions down for them or make a list of what information they want to find out about.
Encourage them to search out answers, focusing on what they feel is important. Try places like the school/board website to start with. If they need help getting started, you could share questions like “What will my new schedule look like?” “When will I know which cohort I am in?” Ask them to find out what they can and discuss the information.
- Take advantage of the transition activities and opportunities to get exposure at their high school, before school starts. Such as end-of-year BBQs or open house events.
- Take time to teach them how to use a locker lock; this causes a lot of anxiety for kids!
- See if there is a student handbook that you can review together in advance to see the school’s layout or learn other things about the school, such as what extracurriculars are being offered.
Encourage independence
When it comes to your youth building independence, whether it’s things like doing their morning routines alone, making their lunch, or doing their homework, don’t expect them to be able to do everything all at once. Take time to understand their goals for independence, what they feel they can do on their own, and what they might want some help with. Help them understand and break down the steps needed to achieve their goals. The amount of support from adults should be based on their current skill set, not the average age. Trust your knowledge of them and don’t be swayed by what’s happening with other youth.
Identify a trusted adult at school
It can help to have a trusted adult at school—ideally someone your youth can trust, who knows them; someone they can turn to for help in solving a problem or dealing with a difficult situation. Speak to them about sharing with the teacher when they need a break, they are feeling frustrated or overwhelmed, or if they are unsure of what is expected of them. It may be particularly helpful for them to know when to ask for a break and when to ask for help. Ask them to write out some signs they see in themselves when they are frustrated and/or falling behind. Encourage them to think about how they could manage those moments or decide to ask for support.
Check out our Communicate with the School resource for connecting with teachers and other school staff.
Remind them that we all need to ask for help at times. Remind them of the times they have helped you when you are frustrated, overwhelmed, or unsure. This is a time for connection and preparation, so they don’t feel alone. You can compare what different family members find frustrating, overwhelming, etc., and what strategies you each use.
Remember it takes time to adjust
It’s important to give youth time to transition—it won’t happen overnight, and you may need to offer support longer than you think. Ongoing communication between you and your youth about the support you are offering, or that they feel they need, is key. Also, pay attention to signs that the transition may not be going well, or consider if something more serious might be going on for them. If you notice any of the below behaviours that seem to persist, reach out for help.
Signs of stress:
- Not sleeping or eating well
- Getting persistent headaches, stomach aches, or other unexplained physical ailments
- Wanting to stay in bed all day or can’t seem to get up for school
- Loss of interest in their usual activities or relationships
Check in with yourself
This is a time of significant change for your youth. It’s a time when their bodies are changing, and they may be becoming more independent and exploring new things. It’s also a time of considerable change for parents and caregivers! If you’re worried about their academic performance, focus on being hopeful and optimistic, but also realistic about what may be possible for your youth. The best way to support their academic learning is to make their mental health a priority. What matters most is the health and well-being of your youth. Connect with other parents and caregivers who get it if you are concerned about your youth’s mental health.
Check out our Peer Support program to find a peer support chapter near you and connect with other parents and caregivers who get it.