How can I support healthy sibling relationships?
Working to maintain family harmony and encouraging strong sibling relationships is an important part of being a parent or caregiver. This isn’t always easy, especially when one of your children has a mental health challenge. You can, however, do several things to support a healthy relationship between the children and young people in your family.
Here are some strategies to try
- Encourage flexibility. It can be frustrating when interactions between siblings are fine one day and challenging the next, so encouraging the sibling to take things slowly and maintain flexibility with the child who is struggling can help contribute to strong sibling relationships.
- Support doing things together as siblings. Time together as a family is important, but so is time for siblings to do things without parents or caregivers around. If it’s safe to do so, and if both siblings are interested, encourage your children to hang out together (e.g., playing games, watching a movie, going for a walk) to help them build and strengthen their relationship.
- Support activities outside of the family. Encourage the sibling to do things on their own outside of the family, as this can help them to build their own confidence and sense of accomplishment. For example, socializing with friends, getting involved in sports or hobbies, spending time outside, and perhaps developing a respite plan with and for them can give the sibling a break from the family and some of the stressors in the home environment.
- Avoid communicating in a way that places blame. When a family member struggles, sometimes others in the home need to make adaptations. Frame these as actions that you take to maintain a positive family environment, rather than placing the blame on the child or youth who struggles with mental health for requiring these accommodations. For example, rather than saying “Sorry, you can’t have any screen time because your sister or brother really struggles with screens,” try “Let’s find another activity that you’ll enjoy but doesn’t involve being on your phone or device.
- Celebrate the positive times. When siblings are getting along well and enjoying each other, it’s a good idea to point this out so that they understand that the challenging times are balanced by good times too.
“When siblings are spending time together and it’s going well, let them enjoy it and consider ending it early on a positive note if possible. They need to balance the tough times with the LOTS of memories of joy and kindness around each other.”
“Having my own extracurriculars gave me my own space. Sometimes, those are the times that I remember most fondly.”