Healthy Digital Habits

These days, youth may know more about technology than some parents and caregivers, and it can be hard to keep up. So much of what youth do now is online, and parents may wonder if their youth is spending too much time on their computers and phones. We’ve compiled some top tips from child and youth mental health experts to help you navigate healthy digital use at home.

Set clear boundaries and routines around healthy digital use

Stick to those boundaries. One way to keep boundaries in place is to turn off the Wi-Fi at night, so that no one, including adults, is using it all night long. If you’re planning on giving your youth a phone for the first time, consider letting them know that since you are paying for the device and the data plan, the phone is yours, and you can access it whenever you need to. This kind of conversation must happen before they get the device. Be open with youth so that you may check their technology use or install an app to help them set reasonable limits and monitor trends, such as whether it’s affecting their sleep.

Teens often can’t afford phones without you. Commitments to boundaries should be set at the onset of providing devices to kids, with an understanding of the reasons their privacy may not be prioritized over safety. It’s also appropriate to have this conversation after you have already given them a device, and you are just learning about this now. Just ensure you are sharing the reasons related to their health and safety, so they understand where you are coming from.

Identify a trusted adult at the school

Is there a teacher with whom your youth is comfortable having open and honest conversations? It might be helpful to remind your youth that it’s ok to let their teacher know that they are doing the best they can and would benefit from support when needed. For some youth, you’ll want to acknowledge how challenging it can be to have many different teachers, all with their approaches and expectations in the classroom.

If your youth is feeling hesitant to start the conversation, consider practicing it with them and role-playing as though you are the teacher. By practicing, they can help figure out the approach that feels right to them. Also, consider asking them to write down what they want to communicate to help them ensure they get their point across.

Role modelling healthy digital use is essential

Be aware of how often you are using tech devices at home. So many of us are so dependent on technology now—can we easily put our devices down at certain times? Acknowledge how hard it is for yourself to put the devices down and ensure that you are modeling appropriate use. They are watching!

“I was listening to my son tell a story one day, and without realizing it, I picked up my phone to check email. He stopped talking and told me I was being rude—nothing like your teen holding a mirror up to you to hold you accountable! After that, I did my best to be more aware of habits like this.“

The level of privacy you offer your youth in your home is up to you

If they are using their computer in a room separate from you, consider setting up parental controls to block certain websites on your computers. Many internet providers share information on their websites about how parents can monitor internet usage in the home. You can learn more about how to have these conversations with your youth here.

Acknowledge the importance of the connection that technology represents for youth

Social media and gaming are spaces where they can connect with their friends online. Try asking them about their games or social media so that you understand more about them and why they enjoy it. This also shows how respectful you are about the role it has in their life and acknowledges how hard it could be to reduce use without help.

“Be honest about sharing your concerns related to the impact of screen time and internet use on their mental health. Let them know that it will be an ongoing conversation because things change so rapidly. My son was blown away when I showed him what dialing up the internet used to look like in a YouTube video, or that I used to knock on my friend’s door to see if they wanted to hang out! Things are SO different these days! “

Taking technology or games away isn’t always the solution

Consider that for some, gaming or social media use is the highlight of their day after school. What other meaningful connections or rewarding things do they have? Try to make sure those are present before taking away something that may feel like the one thing that’s important to them in the moment. Taking things away often causes distress, especially if it is the only way they communicate with their peers. Instead, work with them to develop healthy use habits. Helping youth understand the reasoning for your concern is the most important information that you can share. It lets them know that you are coming from a place of care and concern, not punishment.

Find extra-curricular activities that your youth enjoys

Are there sports or social clubs that they can join? Remind them of the activities they used to enjoy when they weren’t using their devices. Encourage them to come up with alternative activities that they would want to do to build balance into their daily routines and experiences.

Know when to reach out for help

It’s essential to stay informed on changes in technology so that you can understand what your youth may be experiencing. It’s also important to pay attention to behaviours that might signal problematic use.

Watch for the following signs and reach out to Find Help if needed:

Your youth appears to prefer digital activities over real-life interactions
They become oppositional or argumentative when you enforce limits on screen time
Screen use is interfering with sleep, mealtime, or school
You notice changes in their level of interest in physical activity, other interests, or socializing with friends and family
Their mood changes or you observe negative emotions after their online interactions (ie, gaming, social media, texting/chatting with others)